The Force

The Girl 

I wonder if when he spends the night if he takes a shower will he  run away and think I'm gross because I shower in black mold. Hi my  name in Catlina and it's hard being a black woman. Yes I pay my rent  on time but they never fix shit now my bathroom is filled with black  mold and no windows. This is my life. I work taking pictures for an  insurance company only for foreclosures. I have a son and did I  mention I'm sleeping with my Boss but that's not how the story  starts.  This story starts with me, the girl I have always been "the girl with no  name, no personality," but it seems I can still manage to mess things  up. I always wanted to be more than just a girl. I met Roman when I  was in my twenties. He wanted a maid and a child and I wanted to be  loved unconditionally and now I am a single mom raising our son  Mickey. His dad does come around but only when asked  he's 15 and  the coolest kid you will ever meet but sometimes I get lonely. So I have  been having fantasies about a boy at the Coffee Shop. He is so  handsome he is nice  drives an electric car and he has long brown  dreadlocks. He's always dancing and his eyes scream sex, pleasure  and peace. He does not know my name. before work I do my laundry. I  go shopping then to the coffee shop where the music is always blasting  some sort of new Cardi B. jam. He is surrounded by everyone. He  stands behind the counter with his Bob Marley shirt  on and reggae hat  and a big smile. I smile back but he is busy with a female customer,  she looks more his style. What I mean by that is, I am pretty, don't get  me wrong I have curly hair and skin that people say glows and my body  is not that shabby either but I don't have a car, lots of money or any  friends. Well I do have a sister Fancy and a brother Tayvon and I  consult with them about everything. I have told them I was lonely and I  told them about the nice boy at the coffee shop. Their advice to me  was to be aggressive, go after what I want. I am not sure I know how  but  today I am getting coffee and when he is done serving her he will  serve me and that will be my chance to say something that will let him  know I am interested in being friends. "Hi Dre"; "Whats up girl, your  same drink?" "Um... yes please" "You doing anything this weekend". "I  was thinking about writing a book" "A book" "Yeah.. Does that sound  boring to you" "No it doesn't. What is it going to be about?" "Love" he  smiled at me and handed me my coffee. I said thank you and I knew the  moment was over. I was going to go back to invisible as soon as I left  out of the door.

The next time we met it was a hectic morning. I got Mickey off to school and headed on my way with my big trash bag of  clothing, that I have to haul to the laundromat every day and yes it's  even worse than it sounds. Not to mention most people are terrible to  me I guess if you are carrying around a trash bag you're going to look  homeless. Today it's worse because it's raining outside, I am soaked. I  almost didn't walk into the coffee shop, I'm drenched. This can't look  good but I do it anyways. When I walk in I don't see him and I don't  want it to look obvious that I'm looking for him. All of a sudden he  comes out of the back room and the music starts playing. It's not fast  today, it's slow and it's "Kendrick Lamors; Love" and all I can hear is "I  wanna be with you." As he takes my order, time seems to stop. I don't  know if those words are for me?           

THE BOY   

Here's a little bit about Dre Dayton. From his profile picture he  lives in a huge house on the water, looks like four bedrooms on the  party side of town on steamboat island. He posts pictures about every  other day of him eating breakfast overlooking the ocean with a  different beautiful girl. He also has three roommates that are in  college. He is 24 with no kids but I would like to know more about him.  He is more than just handsome. This morning is a beautiful Saturday  and I feel like a stalker because I know Dre is going to be at a music  festival this afternoon. This is my big opportunity, I guess to show him  I'm cool and that I can be the type of girl he likes. I woke Mickey and  asked him If he would come with me to a music festival. I said we will  just walk around the outside one time and go home. I told him it was a  nice day and we could use the exercise. I put on my cutest shorts and  headed out the door. When we got there it was crowded and I was  sweaty. I got Mickey an ice soda and we went to walk the grounds,  then go home. The walk wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.  They had designed nice smoking areas, lots of live music and it was a  nice day. Mickey was busy talking to an environmentalist about using  hemp products instead of trees. That's when I saw him, Dre. He was  smoking a cigarette with two other guys at a bench in front of an edible  stand. I was so excited without thinking I yelled, "Hey Dre". Everyone  stared at me including Dre. He seemed embarrassed. I was  embarrassed. After Mickey was done with his conversation I explained  whose name I had just yelled out and why we were here, to see Dre. I  said we had done a good job and we could leave now. On the way out of the festival I heard someone say my name. I almost didn't turn  around, but I did and I'm glad. It was Dre and he was alone. He was  walking closer to me when he spoke it sounded like music playing.  Then he said "I was wondering if we could go get an ice cream or a  milkshake sometime." I said; Yes. He said; Is this your son." I said his  name is MIckey" They shook hands and Dre put my number in his phone  and said he would text me with details later. I was on cloud 9. Just  happy the whole way home.    

COFFEE

It had been a day or two since we exchanged numbers at the  music festival and he still hadn't called. When I woke up this morning  something felt different and wrong. I got Mickey up for school and did  my chores. I kind of didn't want to go to the coffee shop, but I needed  to see his face. See on his face why he did not keep his word and call  me. When I walked in the same atmosphere, the same top 20 rap music  playing loud, but Everyone had their backs turned to me. There were  new girls and they were whispering and I felt alone. I saw Dre and I  tried to get his attention. He had his hand on an employee's back and  he was showing him something. That's when a female employee steps  in named Amanda Jess but they call her AJ says to me; "Are you  Okay?" I couldn't tell what looked wrong to her but I somehow felt like I  was being bullied. I asked her to make my drink and I was out of there.  That day my drink didn't taste as good. I went to work like normal. I  love working with Simone. He is the first person that trusted me and  that meant everything to me and I won't ever let him down. It's the only  hug I ever get all day. Today after my shift I was home before Mickey. I  was able to get dinner started, when all of a sudden  I get a text it says  '' Hello beautiful where do you live , I would like to take you out for ice  cream right now or when your free.'' I text back my address and say '' I  have to make dinner but tomorrow i am free''. The next day it was time  for our date and i didnt know what I should wear.  At this point i'm still  a little confused about what had happened at the coffee shop  yesterday, and I was going to get to the bottom of it.  He picked me up  in his green electric mini car and we headed off to the mom and pop  ice cream shop, on the corner of my road and his store. When we got  there the parking lot was empty but by the time we ordered our ice  cream , the parking lot was packed. I'm not surprised we looked very  good together. We sat down and talked. He told me he had a younger 

sister. That she had been in and out of rehab that she had had a tough  life, went from pills to heroin. He also told me he had an  older  brother  that was his family's favorite and just last year he had become a police  officer. Dre was the middle child still going to college online and  working in the coffee shop. We sat there for hours talking about books,  religion and relationships. I asked him why he had ignored me when I  was at the coffee shop? He said it was complicated, that he had dated  lots of girls, some from his coffee shop, partied with them and now  they feel like He owes them. That he has to be loyal to them and only  them. The guys too. He said to them you're an outsider. I said '' How do  you feel?''. He said he didn't know . After the ice cream, he took me  home. It was a little awkward, he didn't ask me about  my trailer and I  didnt ask him in.  The next day went well.  When I walked into the  coffee shop everything was normal, and I played it cool. I smiled and he  smiled back.  He made my coffee and I walked out.  As soon as I got to  the end of the road I received a text from Dre, a yellow smiley face  emoji with heart eyes. I'm not sure how I should take this maybe  affection?  It's been about two weeks since I first gave him my number  but It seems like we have been talking less and texting more . We  should work on that, maybe he's not a phone  person or he just wants  to take his time, get to know each other. But i have to keep in mind he  just might not be interested. I needed to talk to my brother Tay. Tayvon  is the youngest. He's smart, handsome and good with music. He has a  bright future. He had some trouble with the law when he was younger  but he didnt let it break him. He came home stronger than ever . When I  called him he was in the middle of making dinner with his kids . He still  took a little time out to listen to me .  I didn't give him too many details  but he told me it sounded like this guy had a lot of growing up to do,  before he could deserve me. I told him he sounded like an older  brother.                

The sex

It had been awhile sense I had had sex. It wasn't something I  regularly thought about. I didn't even really like talking about it. But I  knew if i didn't do something bold or dramatic  our moment would pass  and we would be nothing more than texting buddies.  I had to do  something, So I would invite him over for pot and a movie.  This would  not include sex but maybe we could share a kiss?  After I left the store  that evening , he sent me a happy face emoji with heart shaped eyes  like he always did. I responded with a question '' I was wondering if you  would like to come to my house for pot and a movie no pressure 'I said.  ''  I was nervous but he texted back  pleasantly fast ''I would love too. I wouldn't miss it, can i come buy around 9:00'' I texted back a smile and  went to work like normal.  When I got home I was a wreck I had to get  mickey ready for a weekend with his dad .   Make dinner and figure out  how to entertain Dre. I'm not too social so I feel like being in my own  home. I should feel more comfortable but now I'm obsessing over  should we have gone out. Is he going to think I'm not girlfriend  material? I really want him to be my boyfriend and I want to be his  possession. I decided instead of somthing sexxy,  I should wear some  jeans or pajamas.  I just don't want to look too desperate but i also  want to look like I don't care. By the end of the fashion show I decided  on a one piece maroon jumper with a hood on it . That way if I were to  get embarrassed I could cover my head. It was around 9:30 when I got  a text that said he was on his way. I was so nervous I went outside to  smoke some pot . That's when he drove up and when he saw me he  smiled. I stood up and greeted him. He hugged and kissed me strong  and warm but also soft all at the same time I was confused.  He  grabbed a long joint out of his back pocket, lit it and handed it to me. I  smiled to my surprise it was really good weed. I started to cough,  that's when he grabbed my hand and led me into the house. I explained  to him that my son was sleeping in his room but it was okay, we would  just have to be quiet. We could still hang out.  I showed him a couple of  comedys I had picked out to see  if he wanted to choose one.  We  settled on a Dwayne Johnson and Kevin Hart movie.  We talked during  the whole movie. At the end of the movie he wanted to talk about his  sister, he kept  thinking about her about drugs and the terrible things  she had done for them.  Then he started talking about ex-girlfriends.  Ones that had used him cheated on him or just left him for his friends.  He was sad when he started telling me about his last relationship, he  said she had become abusive, physically and emotionally. He said she  would get on drugs or be drunk and she would start scratching his  face. I felt bad for him, we turned on the t.v and he put his hand on my  leg. Then he kissed me again even better than the last time.  Laying me  down on the bed we made love for hours, see the unedited version for  details. We took a shower after the shower, he kissed me softly and to  my surprise he told me loved me before he drove off. 

  The other girl

    The next day I was excited about life. I wanted to see Dre.  That day I did my hair extra special and I was confident. I knew I  had  heard him say he loved me the night before. I remember the  look of satisfaction and pleasure on his face. I can still hear the  sounds of his enjoyment. I was in a good place, I remembered our time together and decided to continue to play it cool. I walk in  and he is happy, I say this is good. Then he walks over and says  he has to talk to me. He is wondering if on his lunch break  we  can go to the ice cream shop, have some food and talk. It sounds  wonderful to me, sounds like date number two a start to a real  relationship I am elated.  When he picks me up from my house he  says we only have an hour , but he's not in a hurry. We get there,  we order. I order classic burgers and fries,  he orders what he  had last time, a hot dog and a chocolate milkshake. This is  starting to feel like our spot.  He starts the  conversation with,  remember the girl I told you about my ex-girlfriend. The abusive  one '' well... we work together and this morning she told me that  she and her roommates got In an argument. That she was kicked  out, now she has nowhere to go. I don't want her to have to sleep  in her car or on the street. So when she asked to stay with me I  said yes, just until she could make other arrangements.''  I was  shocked, this is not what i was expecting. I questioned him.  What? She works with you, and why cant she afford a hotel. Or  stay with a female employee?. I said this is not good especially  with your violent history, and what about me. I  feel myself start  to cry, we haven't known each other long but I had already  decided to choose him. Now I have to decide whether to stick  this out. I started thinking about when he said, he cared about  me.   I knew that I was going to have to be understanding.  I also  know that she had already moved her things in. He told me, she  used to live there so the change wouldn't be that hard on her. He  also told me that he liked me , we were together and that she  understood that. He told me that he was upset because he really  wanted to show me his house.  But with Amanda staying there it  wasn't a good time. 

He's not their

 Things carry on as normal, I get coffee and soft kisses from him  every day, and we spend our nights at my house, watching movies and  making love. Mickey is happier too, he is seeing more of his dad and I  think he likes seeing me happy.  Everything was going great besides  not being able to see his house and oh yeah him living with his ex  girlfriend, but that aside we were pretty happy.  It was around 1:00 in  the afternoon when I got a call from Mickeys school, saying  he had  been in an accident. He was hurt badly and was already in route to the  emergency room.  When I got there they had told me he had been hit in  the head by a door during an activity he was unconscious and bleeding,  He would need stitches but he would be okay when he woke up. I pulled myself together and called Dre. I needed to talk to someone. He  answered on the first ring, I explained everything to him and asked If  he would come to the hospital. When Dre arrived at the hospital Mickey  was coherent and holding a bloody towel over his head, He was okay.  The whole thing took about two hours, Dre was holding my hand the  whole time and he was very attentive to Mickey. I told Mickey  everything would be okay and we drove off together in one car like a  family. After he drove us home, he said he had to check in at his house,  but he would definitely be back. One soft kiss later and he was gone.  That night turned out to be chaos. When he showed back up to my  house his face was covered with red wilted scratches and it was  bleeding bad.  He began to tell me that when he got home A.J. was in  his bed waiting for him and she was mad. she said she had been  looking for him then started drinking. She said she had called work and  they told her he was with me that he  had called out due to a family  emergency, she flipped out. When he got home she had writen my  name all over the walls and she was naked begging him for sex when  he said no, she started scratching him.  That's when he told me that he  was sorry. That it was all his fault, he said that when she needed a  place to stay he should have never let her sleep in his bed. He admitted  to me that they had been sleeping together and this was the reason  she had jealousy acted out. He told me having sex with her was a  mistake. He told me that after she clawed up his face, she started  crying. He told her it was over, that she would have to leave. That's  when she got upset again and started scratching him more. His  roommates stepped in and carried her out, they told her if she ever  came back they would call the police. I was shocked.  Then he said  sorry.  I was not mad, just a little hurt.  I didn't know why he couldn't  have protected me from this, why he had to cheat on me. I felt used  embarrassed and ashamed, I needed a break, more importantly I  needed to be away from Dre.  I decided I needed to finish my book. As  he started to walk towards the door I could see his face was covered  in red tiger marks and they were still bleeding. I couldn't send him  home like this, I smiled and told him I would fix up his wounds. He told  me I didn't have too and I said '' How else is gonna do it '' He told me  he didn't have any band-aids at his house. I got the alcohol cotton balls  and the band-aids and used them carefully and gently to bandage his  wounds. After I made us some food, I told Dre that mickey was not  here, that he had wanted to spend some time with his dad while he  healed and that he would be back next weekend. I also told him that  this didn't change anything, I still needed my space.  He thanked me for  the medical attention and asked if he could kiss me one more time  before he left. I said yes.  The next couple of days, I started working on myself. I cleaned my house, did my nails, learned a little French and  started jogging. It felt good to start taking care of myself for a change,  but it was strange that I hadn't heard from Dre.  It had been about two  weeks since I had been to the coffee shop and about two weeks since I  had had the urge to write. Today I was going to break our silence. After  I finish with laundry and groceries I'm going into the coffee shop, it  doesn't matter if I am covered in rain or mud. I'm going in there to read  his smile and depending on what it says I will know if he has missed  me or not but most importantly I will know how I feel about him. When I  walk in, he is not there. Dalton, his friend and co-worker comes up to  me with a smile, takes my order and says Dre wants me to give you a  message.  He misses you.

    Love (why now) 

 Later that night I got a text from Dre. It said "Are you and Mickey  free this weekend?" I texted back "Yes, with a question mark" He  replied "Please call me. I have a surprise." Another surprise I'm not  excited but I call anyway. When we talk He tells me He has band-aids  in his bathroom now and he's making adult life changes. He says he no  longer has roommates they have moved out and gone back to school.  He starts to tell me that his house is no longer a party house. That he  has spent his time apart cleaning and making the house comfortable  for Mickey and I. He said he wants us to come over. Then he says  "Catlina I care about you and have planned a nice weekend for you and  your son full of swimming, fishing and just spending time together and  at the end, a surprise. Please say you will stay with me at least one  day." I said "I will have to talk to Mickey first. That night before I talk  to Mickey I'm going to have to talk to my sister Fancy. Catlina and  Fancy are two different funny names. One day I will have to ask our  Mother why. But about my sister. My sister is one of the most beautiful  and successful psychiatrists in Seattle and she is younger than me. I  am very  proud of her. When I got her on the phone I was excited  because I knew I was going to get some good advice. She told me that  today was her day off and she was going to the gym later but right now  she had all the time in the world to talk. It took about that much time  to tell her the whole story, I didn't leave out one detail. At the end of the  conversation her advice was, "have a good weekend and call me in the  morning." We laughed, we were happy. I told her I loved and  appreciated her. When I got off the phone, there was just enough time  to talk to Mickey before bed. When I knocked on the door I noticed he  was on the phone, I asked if it was a bad time? He said no and ended his call. I asked "Was that your dad?" He said "No, I have a girlfriend." I  was shocked but I didn't want to flip out. I said the first thing that  came to mind "Would you like to talk about it?" He said her name was  Tasha. She was smart, sixteen and went to school with him. I said "Is  she nice?" He said "I don't know her that well." I said "You are very  mature and I start to talk to him about this weekend. I start telling him  about the room he will have to himself, the video games and the  fishing. I ask him if he will accompany me to Dre's house for the  weekend. I would really appreciate it and if he is not happy we can go  home. He says Yes and in the morning we pack our things and wait for  Dre. Dre arrives on time, greets me with a kiss and shakes mickey's  hand. He helps us put all our things into the car, we get in. When he  turns on the car Kendrick Lamar is playing and it's our song "Love".  When we make it to his house it's even more beautiful than I could  imagine. He walks us around and gives us a tour. There are three  rooms: a game room, two living rooms, three bathrooms, a deck, a hot  tub and a basketball court and the house is overlooking the Puget  Sound. It was so clean and nicely furnished, He even showed us that he  had filled the refrigerator with food. I was impressed. He showed  Mickey to his room and to all the video games. Then took my hand and  said he had saved the best for last. He showed me to the master  bedroom, it was covered in pink flowers and pink flower vases  everywhere. The whole room was pink and it smelled of love. I smiled,  because he noticed I liked pink.  On the bed were rose petals, next to it  looked like a black see through swimsuit. I picked it up and it was a  lacey negligee. He said ''I would like for you to put this on, I have a  special night planned. I want us to have champagne in the hot tub, I  want to feed you strawberries and whip cream, I want you to stay with  me forever. I couldn't believe it, that night was one of the best nights of  my life. That night we slept great. That morning Dre had woken up  early and  made steak and eggs.  He had breakfast on the table, on the  deck overlooking the ocean. The food looked great. Before I could eat I  had to check on Mickey,to my surprise he was already dressed eating  and ready to go fishing. When I saw Dre with his long dreads high up on  his head in the morning he looked just like a King. I told him I loved  him, and not to get too comfortable. We finished breakfast, I washed  the dishes, got dressed and we were off to check out Dres fishing boat.  It was an average size big boat and it was handsome. It was equipped  with fishing poles, life jackets and live fish bait. It seemed he had put a  lot of planning into this weekend. I was excited about getting on the  ocean and  Mickey was excited about catching fish. The view was  beautiful, while Mickey was fishing Dre and I had a lot of time to talk.  We talked about how his parents rent the house out to him and that he grew up here and how he was so happy to be spending time with me.  The sun was starting to set, Mickey had caught a fish and it was time  to go home. 

                                         The Talk

I was back home and this morning like every morning I was  excited to see Dre. He had not been in the coffee shop the last couple  times I had been there and I forgot to ask why but today I am  optimistic and excited. I continue my regular routine. I walk into the  coffee shop and there is no Dre. The day starts to feel very lonely but I  stay positive. I start to think of our time together. Then our time in the  hot tub his skin his breath his every muscle his smell. I can't wait to  see him again. When I got home I made dinner for Mickey and I and we  talked.  It is nice. I'm very proud of him. I checked my phone. It had  been a while since I checked it last and I was glad I had checked it because I received  a text from Dre. It was a happy face emoji with heart eyes. It made me  feel all warm inside. I text back "Why have you not been at work." He  says "I miss you too" I send a question mark. He responds may I come  over tonight so we can talk. I send "of course." It was around eight  thirty PM when he came over. I had just finished watching a religious  program by Creflo Dollar. It seemed that the program must have  touched my heart because when he started talking about love, faith  and forgiveness I started crying. I was lucky I pulled myself together  before he knocked on the door. Dre was very happy, he hugged me and  I hugged him back, we held on a little longer than normal. The first  thing I asked him was "Why do I not see you at the store anymore?" He  said "I love you." He said "It's been so hard trying to keep this from  you, I just didn't want to tell you anything in case it didn't work out." I  said "What do you mean?" Then he pulled something out of his back  pocket, I couldn't see what it was, all of a sudden he was down on one  knee. With the most beautiful ring and prettiest box presented in front  of me. He said he found a new job that he loved me and he was going  to buy me a new car. He also said "I don't want Mickey and you to  spend another day in that trailer. I want you to move in with me, I want  you to be my wife." I said "Yes". It took a while before we let go of one  another, we were both crying. I thanked God. That night he told me  that he had applied to work with his brother. That he was going to be a police officer. I was a little scared, I guess he could see it on my face  because he said, "Don't worry. I chose this job because I can change  people's perspective of police officers, I can show people police can be  helpful and kind. Plus I put myself in charge of the sensitivity division.  This is a division that will make sure everyone is being treated fair and  being respected." He said, he thought I might like that. I told him it's  always been a dream of mine to work for the police station.

    Book 2   A Ghost Story 

  ​I can hear them whispering about me. All she does all day is drink and  smoke weed, and I'm heading to the liquor store right now. Ding dong.  The door to the B&J opens. This is the place where I get my liquor . Mr.  Oneas knows me, he's known me since I was a kid. '' Good morning  Lyndi'' '' Good morning Mr. Oneas.'' ''Now Lyndi  not too much drinking  today, I know your father and he wouldn't want to see you get hurt. I  just care about you, and want you to be safe while you're out riding  your bike around the city. What are you doing today?'' '' Today I am  collecting cans, and you don't have to worry about me.'' I grabbed my  liquor and jokingly said '' Mr. Oneas, if I don't get enough cans today for  my liquor tomorrow, I will be selling myself on state street.'' '' your a  good girl Lyndi, be safe.'' Now I'm off on my way. For a little  background on me. My name is Lyndi Cole, I am forty two and have  lived in this small town of Yelm.  With my parents David and Cindy Cole all  my whole life. I have two children, they were taken from me. I  used to compete in beauty pageants when I was younger. My parents  took advantage and exploited my beauty.It's okay. My father was a police officer  and my mom was a stay at home mom. She loved to parade me around.  She wanted people to find me desirable and attractive. She is dead now, but what she  taught me was. '' To win you have to do what others are not willing to  do.''  Ring ring ring.'' Dad?. '' Hello this is retired officer David Cole, may  I ask hows speaking.'' ''Its Lyndi dad, your only daughter.'' ''How are  you Lyndi.?''  '' Im fine but, I've been thinking about the kids.'' There  was silence then I said '' I need money'' He said '' How much.?'' '' Three  hundred dollars.'' Three hundred dollars Lyndi what happen what did  you do now.?'' '' Dad, my bike chain and wheels broke, while I was on  the road today. With the money I can get it fixed or buy a new one. A  bike is very important. It's hot outside, I'm homeless and to make  money and get around I need a bike.'' '' Okay Lyndi do you have any  money right now?'' ''No dad, I'm cold it's already dark and I have no  place to stay.'' ''Well Lyndi if you think you can make it through the  night. In the morning I will go to the bank and give you the money. I will call you in the morning goodnight.'' Ring Ring Ring. ''Hello Bill.''  '' Yeah!  David, why are you calling me, it's late. Eva is asleep.'' ''Bill, we have a  problem. It's Lyndi. She is asking about the kids again.'' '' I have one of  them right here, let me tell her she can go to bed now.'' '' Okay Let's  talk now.'' 

  All I have to do is make it through the night. Here It's hot in the day  and cold at night and you never know when it's going to rain. It's the  unpredictable weather of Washington state. Maybe If I stick my thumb  out someone will give me a ride. I noticed that somones been leaving  things and food out for me but not tonight, so hungry. I'm going to keep  walking, the sun will be up eventually. At least I got my jackett and my  liquor.   Whoop Whoop.  Oh no... when I see the officers fear is my first  thought. I try to run but im blocked. I see the female officer and she hits me in the face, I fall to  the ground male cops start to kick me and I hear them yelling whore. I  feel my heart in my throat, I can't breath. I lay on the pavement in my  own blood and tears. I see the lights shining from the police suvs and  the blood in my eyes is obscuring my vision but I can tell I'm  surrounded.  That's when I saw him.'' No ''  I screamed no, as loud as I  could.  Then he poured a whole bottle of whiskey on my head  and I heard them say start the camera. A camera is in my face now. I  was covered in blood and screaming no. I couldn't see anyone but I  recognized that voice. I heard him say '' Stop resisting arrest or I will  have to shot.'' I was surrounded by four, men now all in uniform.  That's  when I heard them tell the female officer to turn off all the cameras. I knew I was no longer being recorded. That's when he took out a syringe and  said. '' You know the deal Lyndi, you take these drugs, you let us fuck  you, we let you go.''  This was something I knew too well. They shot me  and the other officers up with the heroin  Then leaned my body  over the back seat of the  s.u.v. taking turns rapping me. Soon I heard  his voice again, he said without hesitaion.''kill her.'' The last thing I heard were the  two  shots that killed me. 

  The force 

   Hi this is Catlina, I'm back and feeling better than ever, to give you a  little recap I got married to Dre Dayton. I've been so happy since I  became Ms.Catlina Dayton. Now we live in a beautiful house on  steamboat Island, with my son Mickey. Waking up to the Puget Sound every morning .  It doesn't get any better than that. I used to work for an insurance  company, but now I have a new job. I take pictures for the city. I drive  to various locations and take pictures of roads, traffic lights, historical  buildings, parks and anything that might need renovations. This also  gives me a lot of time to spend with Dre, he's a police officer at the Olympia office. He is in the sensitivity division.   That's a new  department where they check out claims of police abuse and racism.  He's usually at a desk but sometimes we're out in the field together. It  was a nice day out today, the last couple of days had rained, but today it felt  like  eighty degrees. This made the flowers and the trees very  lush and in full bloom. When I first started I was fixing broken stop  lights now just last week. I helped pass a bill that states no longer will  cars have the ability to drive left or right while the cross walk walking  sign is on. You no longer have to worry about the cars having a  green light and the walking sign going at the same time. Dre told me  this has already lowered the amount of accidents and hit and runs in  our area. We are both very proud we can contribute to our community and I love  it that he cares about me and the environment. He was the first white  man I had ever seen with a Malcom X tattoo. I love that. It's a beautiful  day. Dre and I plan on meeting up at a foster home that he goes to visit,  he also goes to group homes. When he visits the kids he talks to them  about changes in the department and asks them what their needs and idea's are.  When I see him I will be able to talk to him about something I saw.  When I get there he says '' Hey Babe'' and I'm just as excited to see  him as I was when we first met. He kisses me softly and says,'' What  did you need to talk to me about?'' I said ''I read online a story about a woman from  Olympia named Lyndi Cole. It said she used to be a pageant  contestant, that she even won Lake fair princess. But on June 20th  they said she was having a mental health issue and the police shot her,  I think it said two times in the head.'' I said '' Dre I really think you  should look into this one. If there was ever a case that could bring the  community together by showing justice, its this one.'' '' I agree if the  community is scared then they will need answers. You know what I  always say.'''' No Justice no peace.''    ''Yes I say that to but  Racism is what happens when you back one groups racial  bias with legal authority and institutional control by.-Robin DiAngelo.''  He  said ''The first thing I'll do is see if there's a tape.? I'll get back to the  office and see if I can review any body cam from that night. Don't worry  I'll see what I can find out, you know your my sexy superhero Cat.'' I said  ''I'll see you at dinner and be careful. It sounds like this might be an  actual crime.'' He said he had to go and I did too. He kissed me and told  me I was amazing and we went back to our respectable work places.  When I arrived at my office, I was thinking about how I had gone from  walking my laundry down the street, to having my own space where I  do business. I sat at my desk and finished some paperwork. Then  started scrolling to find the article I had read, I needed to find it. There  was something about that woman Lyndi that felt like it was  haunting me. After work I headed home for the day. When I got home, I  was pleasantly surprised to see Mickey and his girlfriend doing homework at the table. I started making dinner. Dre had not made it  home yet but It was nice to spend some time with Mickey and Tasha.  ''Hey officer Christy I was wondering if I could talk to you  for a moment. My name is officer Dre Dayton, I'm new to your  department. Your name is Jake right?'' '' Yes, Its Jake Christy, what is  this all about?'' ''Well as you know we have adopted a new subdivision,  here at the O.P.D. It's called the sensitivity department.'' '' Yes I know,  I heard about it. What is your question?'' ''Well I was wondering about  Lyndi Cole? The fortytwo year old woman that was shot in the head, twice  at midnight on June 20th.'' Officer Christy said he had remembered her.  But he seemed like he was in a hurry. I told him I was going to be  talking to everyone involved, one at a time, getting everyone's story  and taking notes. I explaned to him it was my job to see if there was a crime  committed. Then I asked him''How many officers were there that night  that you can remember?'' He said'' It was me officer Kelly Mikes,Kelly she  was the one that recorded the whole thing.You should talk to her.''  ''Okay I will. you say she has a recording. Who else was there that can  confirm your story.?'' ''There was me, Kelly, John Turner,Roger Woods  and Eric Peters. Officer Kelly and I responded to a disturbance call. We  showed up, there was a woman in the street acting erratically she was  screaming, so I called for backup.'' '' Why didn't you call for an  ambulance?'' '' Well we had picked her up a few times before for prostitution,  so we figured she was on drugs.'' '' Did you give her a drug test?'' '' No,  we couldn't talk to her she just kept kicking and screaming.'' '' So what  happen next?'' '' That's when we called for backup, Officer Woods and  Officer Turner showed up. They started to detain her and she was  fighting, so she got pretty beat up. That's when Lieutenant Peters said  she tried to grab his gun and we shot her.'' '' Thank you Officer Christy,  can I ask you one more question?'' ''Sure'' '' I've noticed it's usually two  Officers to a car, why did Lieutenant Peters show up and why did he  show up alone?.'' '' Yeah.. I think his partner was sick, that's why he  came alone. Is there anything else?'' '' One more thing I looked to find  the footage, there's only one recording. Why are none of your men  wearing body cameras? I know it's required in Seattle P.D. so at least  Officer Woods and Officer Turner should be wearing one?'' I asked but He didn't  have an answer, so I told him there were no more questions at this  time, and I look forward to viewing Officer Mike's video and left it at  that.

  ''Hey Babe your finally home.  Mickey Tasha and I just finished dinner but yours is in the oven if you're  hungry. I made Tater Tot casserole and veggies. What's wrong?'' I  could tell Dre had had a stressful day. He looked tired, even his dreads  needed rest. I said     ''Honey come here, I love you would you like to  talk about it.?'' He said '' Cat, I think that the Lyndi Cole case is foul. I think there's more than their telling me.'' As we talked, Mickey walked  his girlfriend to her car. I warmed Dre's food while he explained to me  what had happened that day. He started telling me about his meetings,  he said he  talked to everyone involved, he started pulling out his  notes. He started telling me about Kelly Mikes, He said her account of  things didn't make sense. She was holding the camera that was filming  Ms. Coles arrest so why did she stop the tape. The tape was stopped  twice; there's about forty-five minutes worth of tape missing. At twelve  fourteen the camera goes on, you see officer Christy, Turner,Woods  and Peters but it seems like there's someone else there. I can't see  them and the tape has no sound. It just looks like she sees someone  familiar like a ghost then I see her yelling no, The camera goes off, a  few minutes later the camera goes back on. I see the same officers  fighting with the woman to get her hands cuffed, I noticed she's  already bleeding before the camera's turned on. Things start to glitch  in and out from her being handcuffed to her screaming and When the  picture returns she's being shot in the head by officer Christy. When I  talked to officer Christy he had told me Lieutenant Peters had shot her  in the head. I think the video has been altered because she was shot in  the head twice. I still want to interview three of the officers again  tomorrow and I'm going to need that autopsy. '' Wow babe that's a lot.  Maybe you should get some rest now It sounds like you have a big day  ahead of you.''  '' What do you mean sleep?  I've been waiting all day to fuck you. Just kidding I mean, I need you  and i'm glad your my wife.'' That night we didnt need the hot tub to  make the sex fantastic, that would have been way too much heat. The  next morning was another beautiful sunny day. When Mickey got his  licence Dre and I bought him a car and told him we loved him. Now on  mornings like this Mickey leaves early so he can spend time with his  girlfriend before school. This gives Dre and I time to talk. I ask him  ''What happens if they really killed this woman on purpose for no  reason?'' Then he said  '' Their all going to jail.'' He  thanked me for breakfast this morning and desert last night. I said ''  You welcome'' He said '' I have to go. I love you. I will see you later.'' I  said '' Goodbye'' He kissed me. Then he was moving very fast down the  driveway in his small gray Audi T.T. He looked just like a new version  of James Bond.  '' Hello Officer Turner, Officer Rogers I  was wondering if I could talk to you, before you started your shifts?''  ''Of course'' '' Can we talk In my office? have a seat. So let's start with  you Officer Turner, do you mind if I record this conversation? Do you  mind officer Rogers?'' '' No I don't mind either.'' '' Okay I'm going to  start with the questions I have for Officer Turner. Turner have you ever  meet our alleged victim Ms. Lyndi Cole?'' '' Umm yes she is the daughter of our retired Captain Bill Cole.'' I'm surprised. I ask officer  Rogers ''How do you know Lyndi Cole?'' '' Myself and Officer Turner  have arrested her many times for drug possestion and prostitution, she  was a regular.'' '' What about that night, What was the reason she was  stopped? Is it  okay if I address this question to Officer Turner? Turner  why did you stop Ms. Cole that night?'' '' I had gotten a call from  dispatch that said there was an erratic woman on the side of the road  on Martin Way. They said they were having problems with her.'' '' What  type of problems did they mention?'' '' They said she might be on drugs,  they said she was fighting an Officer that's all I know, They told us they  needed backup.'' '' How are they Officer Turner? Who told you that they  needed five Officers to detain one woman?'' '' It was Captain Church.'' ''  Officer Turner, I'm going to ask you one more time how do you know  Ms. Lyndi Cole.? She was pretty, did the two of you have a  relationship?'' '' Lyndi Cole is Officer David Cole's daughter nothing  more. I think I want a lawyer.'' '' Does that mean your done answering  questions Officer Turner?'' '' Yes it does'' ''What about you Officer  Rogers?'' '' Yes, Im done talking too.'' '' Well thank you for your time.''

  '' Good morning Zen'' '' Good morning Mr. Dayton.''  Zen Handcock  is one of the best pathologists in the whole state, and today we're  going over the autopsy of Lyndi Cole. When I first walk into the  coroners office I instantly notice the smell of death, stale blood,  stainless steel and surgical equipment. I put on a pair of gloves and  walk into a room where there is a table. With a body on it covered by a  white sheet. Ms. Handcock carrying a white clip board walks over to  the body.  Ms. Handcock is a tall attractive African American woman  with a serious look on her face. I start off the conversation with '' Ms.  Handcock how was your weekend?'' She said '' You can call me Zen,  Ms. Handcock is my mother, and I'd like to start this autopsy right away.'' She  pulls back the sheet and exposes the forty two year old Lyndi Cole.  When I looked at this woman she looked like an Angel. I had never seen  her before but I started to feel a sense of sadness and loss. She didn't  look forty two; she looked like her body had been preserved at the age  of seventeen. Only now to look beaten and life less. '' So what happen  to her?''  Zen starts to show me all the blows that she had sustained.  She said  Ms. Cole had been kicked about the face and the body, beaten  and also hit in the face with a flashlight, that broke her jaw. ''